Another reason that i’ve become obsessed with moving to Korea (yea, like thats ever gonna happen) recently was because i’ve been watching too much of the channel, Airirang. It is a multilingual korean channel that was specially designed with its international audiences in mind. Therefore, it contained programmes that taught you how to converse in the most basic Korean language & programmes that showed you how citizens from other countries have moved to Korea becasue they loved it, & how they have been successfully able to integrate well into the Korean society while having the time of their lives.

Over and over, the korean channel, no matter what programmes it was using as a tool, was sending the same message; to entice people who were in love with the korean drama to move to korea by painting such a lovely picture of the country and the lives we could have over there once we migrated. All these are signs of culture imperialism where constantly bombarded with lovely images of how wonderful their culture truly is. Slowly but surely, their culture has diffused into ours & have even become a part of our identity. Just ask around & I bet you’ll be hard up for a person who has never gone crazy over a korean drama.

Yet, the reality is, Korea isn’t exactly as wonderful as it is painted out to be! This is because like every other country, Korea has its own beauty and flaws. Yet, the media only shows the side of it that it wants to show.

So before you start falling in love with Korea or any other country for that matter, remember that media always has the power to shape and influence our every thought & desire! Are we prisoners of media or are these forms of media truly only exsisting to serve our need for entertainment? Share with me your views! (:

This article is written by a woman who has given up her career as a high-flying lawyer in order to write a book about happiness.

In the article, she explains how she’s trying to make time for the things and people she loves no matter how busy she is. While she has always loved entertaining and having people in the house, she has not thrown a dinner party or hosted a get together for many years. This is because each time she thinks about the work involved in planning these events, such as coming out with the guest lists, seating arrangements, food & catering etc, she comes to the conclusion that she has no time or engergy to put in that amount of effort with a full-time job and 2 kids.

After quitting her job, she has now made new resolutions to make more time for the things that she enjoys as well as the people whom she loves. From this example, it is apparent how her view of time has shifted from squential, where she believed that time was money and therefore, she had to make every second count, to now, where she sees time in a synchronic way and believes time to be cyclical and repetitive. What she cannot accomplish in a day can now be done in the following day or even the following week. This relaxed view of time has provided her with the opportunity to enjoy the activities that she has always wanted to do.

From this article, we can see how the author has evolved in the way she manages her tasks and coordinates her activity. The way she sees her personal time as opposed to her work time has drastically changed as well. She now takes time for herself as well as her loved ones, whereas she used to work round the clock in the past. This has clearly impacted her interpersonal relationships as having time for the people we care about is one of the most important factors of building and strenghtening interpersonal ties.

I definitely agree with her new way of seeing time & handing tasks. How about you? Are you someone who has more of a sychronic or squential view of time?

One classic example is of celebrities fighting to fit in with the mold of the perfect “stick-thin model” figure. The number of celebrities who have fallen victim to it are countless, & some examples include Jessica Simpson, Hilary Duff & Kate Moss, all of whom have been attacked or criticized for their supposed “weight gain.” The latest of these celebrities who came under fire for gaining weight is Kelly Clarkson.

clickity – click – click! (:

Kelly Clarkson has recently received much criticism due to her recent weight gain. Some media critics have even labeled her as a “shape shifter” for gaining the amount of weight she has.

In these examples, we can clearly see that even in societies that are individualistic, traces of collectivism behaviors can be found. This is because as humans, we are social creatures and therefore always feel the need to be accepted or receive approval from others. By conforming to the expectations of others instead of acting on our own desires (those celebrities probably wish they didn’t have to face the pressures of staying in shape all the time,), we reeive approval from others for our actions. This therefore demonstrates how even people who belong to individualistic cultures can display characteristics of collectivist ones.

That said, even with countries like China and Korea, which are generally collectivist, have people who display individualistic characteristics as well. We cannot expect anyone to do everything and anything just for the sake of others or their ingroups, regardless whether we are from a individualist or collectivist community. This is because, as individuals, we need to feel at least a sense of self-fulfillment in order to stay balanced as well-being individuals.

Therefore, while some cultures are more collectivist while others lean more towards individualist, it is a shallow way of viewing a country with these labels.

As cultures are often multi-faceted and dynamic, it is unfair for for a country to be judged based on just a one – dimensional view. We can however, say that a country is more of a individualist (or collectivist), compared to a collectivist (or vice versa).

That said, a person belonging to a collectivist society doesnt necessarily have to be a collectivist as well. In general, Singapore is mainly considered to be a collectivist society. What about you? Are you a collectivist or an individualistic individual? Which traits or beliefs do you hold or display that identifies you as an individualist or collectivist? (:

This song & video describes the emotions of a young girl in the relationship during its stages of experimenting & intensifying in the Knapp Model of Relational Development. In these stages, wonderful things happen because we experience a special kind of connection with someone even though we might not know them all that well.

In those stages, feelings of increased participation & awareness lead us to engage in self disclosure, & we might even feel comfortable sharing intimate details of our lives that we usually only save for Mr Twinkles the soft toy.

Even though the relationship described in the song belongs to that of a romantic relationship, these feelings are often experienced in friendships & family ties too. They are experiences that we go through not only with people whom we have just met & taken a liking to, but with people we have known for a long time & yet, have never really gotten the chance to know too.

After the initial stages, the relationship progresses into stages of integrating & bonding. These are the stages where both parties become a part of each others’ lives. If it is a new gal pal whom you have formed a solid friendship with, it is now that she knows that she can always rely on you should she run into any form of trouble with no one to turn to.

If it is a cute boy you have fallen in love with, it is also now that the two of you have decided to take things to the next level by deciding to become a couple.

In all relationships we go through stages of coming together & coming apart. Sometimes after coming apart, we repeat the process & come together again. While all stages have the ability to put a smile on our faces, every stage comes with its own share of pain & heartache as well, so which are your favourite stages in the Knapp Model of Relational Development & why? Every single part is just as special to me as long as i love the person i am in the relationship with (: What about you?

Physical appearance can have such a huge impact on us that they have the potential to not only impact the relationships we have with ones closest to us, but the power to affect the relationships we build with people in our outer circle as well. A colleague in your new office might be exceptionally nice to you because you were dressed more presentably that day, or a superior might be harsher on you for making the same mistakes as your colleague did because you were dressed in a sloppier manner.

Studies & experiments conducted in this area have produced shocking results & statistics on how physical appearances can affect people and their relationships. Because of this, more & more people have turned to plastic surgery as a solution to their problems.

Below is an article on the rising number of teens receiving plastic surgery,

click me! (:

This article from TIME magazine states that the age group of teenagers now getting plastic surgery has gotten as low as 14. Parents are encouraging teens to go for plastic surgeries, even going as far as getting them as gifts upon high school graduation.

This is mainly due to the fact that people who are not as good looking often get ridiculed for it by their peers. Park Sang Mi, a Korean teen who was interviewed in this article, says that her boyfriend loves the way she looks after the surgery, and that she  no longer has to worry about people calling her ugly.

We are often judged and perceived by others according to the way we look, whether we like it or not. However, are physical appearances really important enough that we have to bring it to the extremes of getting work done on our natural bodies?

There are certainly instances, such as people who are disfigured or born with natural defects, when i agree to plastic surgery.

However, when people get plastic surgeries on perfectly healthy bodies just to get that extra curve in their body or lift on their faces, it can be taking it too far. Are we now immune to it because so many celebrities have done it that they have almost glamorized the concept of plastic surgery? 500 years ago, we might have thought of it as a ridiculous idea to cut up our faces just because we wanted a pointer nose.

It is undeniable that in today’s society, all of us, not just the young or the female, are being bombarded with images of what it should be like to be good looking. These images have to power to make us feel inadequate or even insecure about the way we look.

However, negative feelings brought about by our physical appearances do not have the ability to control us or our lives if we remember that real relationships are built on proximity and reciprocity. We love someone because that person has been there for us through the hardest stages of our lives, because that person has the ability to make you laugh yourself silly and see the funny side in every situation. These are the things that strong interpersonal relationships can be built on, & at the end of the day, if you know who you are on the inside, no model or magazine or poster can tell you otherwise.

Do you agree with plastic surgery as a solution to better physical appearances?

Meanings are attached to words & phrases when the society or a group of people are in agreement or consensus of their meanings. What then happens when 2 people of different culture have trouble understanding each other even when they speak the same language?

Watch the clip below from the 1.30 sec mark onwards! (:

In the video, foreigners who are native speakers of English do not understand the terms presented to them even though they were in English, because they did not understand the context they could be used in! Many of these terms, such as ‘itchy backside’, ‘shaking your leg’ & ‘vomit blood’, are terms derived from sayings that were originally in dialects or other ‘Singaporean’ languages.

Other than illustrating the fact that language can be arbitrary & highly contextual, i believe that the above clip has brought up a very good point about being uniquely Singaporean!

While some might argue that speaking Singlish reflects poorly on Singaporeans, it holds true for me that as long as we are able to differentiate between situations which call for us to speak in proper English (such as business meetings, social settings), & colloquial ones where we can be less formal, i do not see why we should not embrace the unique flavor that makes us truly Singaporean! How many countries can say that they have their own special language resulting from having about a million different wonderful races in their nation? (:

I do not feel that we should view Singlish as being a less “correct” version of another language. If language is a “system of symbols derived from social convention & consensus,” then i guess this pretty much makes Singlish a language all on its own! Just like any other form of language, it has to be learned & used in the correct context in order for it to make sense. Shaking leg is not a new dance move & neither is itchy backside a form of disease!

I feel that as long as Singaporeans conduct ourselves with the grace & warmth as any gracious host with any guests invited into their homes, i do not see how speaking Singlish would reflect poorly on us! I definitely know more than a couple of Singaporeans who have a great command of the language & yet still speak Singlish because its part of who they are (:

What about you? Do you think conversing in Singlish mars our reputation? Here are more videos to pick your brains!

For those who do not understand Chinese, it is a group of Taiwanese criticizing our ‘broken’ English on a local Talkshow!

This is an example of self-serving bias & I do not think its fair to pass judgment  based on the few people they came into contact with. While i admit we do speak Singlish (i’m proud of it!), they’re basically saying is that it is so bad that they find it impossible for them to understand us! Mrs kaveri is so going to kick their asses for judging our culture as inferior to their own!

Radio DJs conversing in Singlish on the airwaves

A fellow citizen who almost seems embarrased by Singlish. P.s. She is the voice behind those Train Service Announcements!

Please share with me your views! (:

Why does it have to different for people who chose to love differently? I came across this article while i was on the Straits Times website today.

http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_376705.html

When asked about the government’s stand on homosexuality, Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng cited reasons like ‘conservative society’ & ‘traditional heterosexual values’ as reasons for why homosexuals should continue living their lives ‘privately’ without causing polorisation.

Just because someone isn’t part of the ‘majority’ does not mean that they should be made to feel any less as human beings.

From a social constructionist perspective, i could see how our culture might have helped shape us into thinking that anything that did not fit in with our ‘reality’ should not be accepted as the norm.

But from a psychological point of view, i see LGBT (lesbians gays bisexuals & transgender) as just people who made different choices. It is heart wrenching to think that someone (it could have easily been you or me!!) would have to live their lives hiding away in the shadows day after day  just because they did not fit in with the majority.

Like a million other girls out there, i must have dreamt of wearing my white beautiful fluffy dress on the happiest day of my life. I couldn’t imagine that the chance of doing that may someday be that taken away from me just because somewhere, somehow, someone did not agree with the person i chose to marry.

I love singapore dearly & we have been through so much together as a country (SARS OMG. BIRD FLU OMG. PIG FLU OMG), that i know that we would get there someday. To put down our differences & these silly rules & regulations that someone decided a long, long, longlonglonglonglong time ago was wrong (the person has probably been dead for 500@#%Y%#% years now by the way).

To open our eyes & see that ‘reality’ was merely someone’s perspective of what is right or wrong, outrageous or acceptable, merely traditions & customs that have been passed down to us through the generations.

It takes a million chances to find that one person we love in the sea of 6 billion people worldwide. That makes it about a billion gazillion chances in 1 to find someone we love who loves us back as well. This shouldn’t have to be any harder for people who already have their inner struggles to contend with as well as external pressures given to them by their families & friends. Love was never really meant to be like that.